Different Anxieties

Comments  7

• Lizz 17 Aug, 09:17 PM

  My first are 18 months apart.  I remember just wanting to know how I would manage my days.  After the grandparents cleared out and my husband went back to work, I was ready to figure it out.  Thankfully, the Lord gives us what we need each day and though some days were certainly very tough, I truly found that personally the adjustment from none to 1 was much harder than from 1 to 2!  Hope all goes well in these last few weeks!  There is something very special about going from a family of 3 to a family of 4!

• Jani Anderson 20 Aug, 01:22 PM

  Marisa,
  You are certainly not alone!  My boys are now 2 and 3.  They are only a year and sixteen days apart.  If  I can handle this you most certainly can.  LOL  There are many challenges coming your way, but as good moms we always find a way to make their little lives so full of happiness and joy, and they definitely do the same for us.  Nursing definitely throws another duty on you as well, but this bonding experience is so precious.  I am proud that I nursed both of my boys.  It was very challenging, but every long night and restless day was worth it.  Try to have patience with your husband through all of this as well...his life is going to change drastically too.  Find strength in each other and ask family members and friends to give you a break to just run to the grocery store as needed...you need to clear your head as well.  Take care and good luck. 
  Jani

• Jennifer 20 Aug, 02:01 PM

  My first two were 17 months apart. I now have 4. I had many of the same fears you do. I won't tell you that going from one to two was easy. There were some days that were hard. The joys that came with having two far outweighed the hard times though. My oldest loved being mommy's helper. I tried to set some things up that I knew would help me out too. For example, I had sippy cups ready to go in the fridge if she needed a drink. She also had an area in the cabinet with snacks already portioned out if I was nursing the baby. While I was nursing we would read a book or play a game like find something that's red, or we would sing a song. If all else fails you can always turn on a video. There will be times the baby needs you and you can't get what your toddler wants as soon as she may want it. That's ok. We all have to learn to wait our turn. Just rely on the Lord to be your guide and everything else will fall into place.

• Lindsey Wolters 20 Aug, 03:29 PM

  I hear ya sister!  I have a 2 1/2 yr old daughter and a 6 mos old son (25 months apart) and have found I loved going from 1 to 2 kids.  Yes, there are days when all the dishes aren't done, things get kind of dusty, beds aren't made, but I have to remind myself that this is the time to get down on the ground with my kids when they want to be by my side all the time:)
  You can do it!!! Yes, you'll be tired but I really tried to spend a lot of time with my daughter while my son slept so much that first month.  And yes, grocery shopping can be an adventure sometimes.  I either pile the food around Asher in his carseat in the big basket or use one of the huge 'kid' carts with the steering wheels and is horrible to drive!  Tonight I'm going after the kiddos are in bed (my fave way to shop now)
  One of my biggest fears was my daughter being jealous of the new baby, and in some ways she was and threw a few more fits than normal, but overall she LoVeS her baby brother and likes to entertain him.  Something that you may expect to happen is for her to become a huge daddy's girl if she isn't already!
  Praying that you have supernatural strength and a clear mind for these next few months.  God won't give you more than you can handle:)
  

• Kerry 20 Aug, 03:32 PM

  I just had my second, mine are almost 3 years apart but I can definitely relate to some of your anxieties.  I will say the 2nd seems easier so far (2 weeks into it).  Maybe it's b/c I'm more relaxed or I know what to expect or I know everything is just a phase and I WILL sleep again...... someday.   I bounced back from the delivery a lot easier this time and things are not as hard as I had expected.  There are definitely times I wish I had 4 hands instead of just 2 but we make do!  Good luck!

• Andrea 20 Aug, 05:28 PM

  I can totally relate to your anxieties and everyones stories.  Mine are 3 years apart and I am type A as well.  My daughter decided to stop taking naps a couple of months before my son came and I thought it was the end of me as well.  But I just learned you have to just go with the flow, take it one day at a time.  And yes, I actually go to bed now w/dirty dishes in the sink.  I never get everything done in a day that I want to but that's ok.  I may have just been so scared to have another one that no matter what happened it would seem easier but I thought going from 1 to 2 was much easier than 0 to 1.  I am actually ready to start thinking about #3 (after 4 mo) and it was my husband who convinced to me have #2 after 3 years.  You'll be great!!! 

• Susan 27 Aug, 09:52 AM

  I can totally relate, I had the same anxieties and my husband was the same. When I was pregnant with my second, I used to have a recurring nightmare that I was at the grocery store and both kids were running in two different directions. As soon as I got one in the cart, the other would run off, and then when I got that one back in, the other was running off squealing. Crazy, I know. But it was a representation of my fear of handling two. After two years with two, I think I would advise these tips. First, stop worrying about cleaning! If you are that worried about it, hire a cleaning service or have your husband do it for the first week or first year. Life is too short to worry about your toilet. Second, things are really pretty easy to juggle two kids when the baby is little. So, don't worry about things too much at the beginning. Third, it's tough to balance two kids but you learn to do it over time. and just think of what the kids learn!! Patience, learning to wait their turn, sharing, caring, learning to take care of each other. My little girl thinks the world revolves around her but she has learned to accomodate, wait, and share with brother and I think she'll be a better person because of it. Mom has learned that everything doesn't have to be perfect and clean, and that taking care of the house is a team effort with kids and dad pitching in too. Good luck!