James WilcoxJames Wilcox

A master of whatever is required by the day! A high school social studies teacher, published author, father of 3, stay home Mr. Mom during the summer and being an attentive husband are just a few things that keep James on his toes. In his spare time James is a writer and photographer. Before returning to school for his Master's Degree in Education James was a photo journalist for the Independence Examiner. James is active in FIRE (Foundation for Inclusive Religious Education) and is actively involved at the CCVI (Children's Center for the Visually Impaired). He is also busy learning braille with his son Nathan who lives with the effects of ROP, Nathan was a micro-preemie who was born at 24 weeks gestation. James and his family live in Kansas City. To Read about James' book, "Sex, Lies and the Classroom," or order your own copy, visit JamesPWilcox.com

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Motivated By Money

Although they did not know it until recently, I have given each of my children a weekly allowance. Since the day they were born, I have put five dollars a week into their savings accounts. I know this isn’t much, but I wanted to put a little something away for them and I wanted to get in the habit of budgeting in their allowances before I actually had to lay down the cold, hard cash. Now that my children are older, my wife and I have started giving them their allowance, although I still stick something into their savings account each week.

 

At nine and seven, my two boys are starting to figure out the power of money. They have also figured out that mom and dad will not buy them a toy or a pack of Pokemon cards every time we go to Target. This is where their allowances have come into play. Overcome with the desire to expand their card and/or toy collections, they decided that they should be able to use their allowance for this purpose, quite reasonably I might add (this is when I had to start slapping down the cash rather than just sticking it in the bank.)

 

Now that the kids are old enough to receive their allowance in cash, they actually have to earn it. They earn their allowance by completing their assigned chores each week. If they forget to do a chore, then I deduct part of their allowance. Although this “system” seems perfectly rational, a problem has arisen. When I started handing the allowances in cash, I decided to give it to the kids in quarters. Why quarters you ask? Well, I decided on quarters so that I could easily deduct my “fee” for forgotten chores. I give my kids their allowances on Friday and then for the rest of the week, I take a quarter, maybe even two, for each forgotten chore or task. The unforeseen consequence of this is that my boys have become obsessed with their quarters. Every time they lose a quarter, they cry, they complain, and truly become upset because they are losing their money. The money has become the main focus of this endeavor, not the learning of responsibility.

 

Now, I don’t want my children to become obsessed with money. I want them to realize that money is a tool, a means to an end, not the end itself. Money is important, but it is not the most important thing in their lives. So I ask you, should I use money as a motivator? Should I come up with another consequence for forgotten chores and if so what? If I come up with another consequence, what do I do about the allowance? I really am at a loss here. My boys care about money, so it seemed logical to use the quarters as a consequence, but now that they are becoming “quarter crazed”, I am not so sure.

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Comments  8

  • Jennifer 23 Aug, 08:57 AM

    My first thought is to turn it into a positive incentive, rather than a negative consequence. I say don't hand out the money until the chores are finished- entirely. People in the real world don't get paid until they show up and do the work! :)
  • Rachel 23 Aug, 08:57 AM

    For my parents, forgetting to do chores was unacceptable. We had to do it. At the end of the week, they handed us $5. Perhaps you could just make the chores mandatory, just like school work, your job. Just an expectation of them. My parents... explained that there were a lot of people in the house (6 of us) and we all needed to help out. I never had a problem doing it. I realized that people depended on me to do things (like take out the trash) and that it was important for our household to function with two working parents. They never deducted from us because we held our own around the house.

    My girl isn't old enough for allowance yet, but I plan to do a similar structure.
  • Melanie 23 Aug, 08:57 AM

    Reinforcement works... punishment doesn't. That's why people still speed.

    But do you NEED to reinforce an everyday job? The work itself can be the source of joy.
  • James 26 Aug, 08:47 AM

    Thanks for the suggestions.  We have tried the positive reinforcements and don't seem to get anywhere which is why we are trying it this way.
  • brandon 27 Aug, 08:38 AM

    I remember how proud it made me earning my own money, specially when I had something I had to save up for.
  • Tess 27 Aug, 09:28 AM

    I personally have not started "allowance" with my children (11 and 5) as financially it's been hard to be able to do so. Though we are starting to budgit and it's a dilema to get my 11yr old to clean her room. I feel that giving allowance is a good thing and will help them want to clean their rooms. I'll have to think of a system for the 5 yr old as there's a bit of an age gap there. I feel it teaches them responsiblity (the kind they need for after school, to get a job and make it in this world) Yes, chores should be a must rather you get "paid" for it or not, that's just how life works. I feel, it depends on each family, only you know if it's right for your family. Now, I'm no expert as I've never done it and we never really got it an allowance so to speak. We crushed cans and turned them in for money, that's all I can recall. But, I feel the child should only get the allowance at the end of the week, at the end of the day after all chores have been completed. They get paid on what they've done (you can keep score/track/points through the week of completions/deductions to know what to pay them at the end of the week)I like your system, I like the idea of deducting money for things not done (lets face it they're kids, things aren't going to get done perfectly) however, I don't see how that works in if they spend it before you can deduct it, or do they have a time when they're allowed to spend? Also, I see how the quarters make it easy to deduct, but seems easier too loose also (causing them to be upset) Another question is, why are they lost?  ( know, kids are kids they just don't have the minds and responsibilites of adults and that's just the way it is) but maybe let them know that when they're paid it goes straight to their "bank" or somewhere put away for safe keepings and is not to be touched until it is to be spent. That is another good responsibility lesson for a child actually, taking care of your money is key, without it..well you don't have it. Teaches them to care for it properly. (though kids won't quite undertand this to our extent, hinse the emotional drama, lol)

    I look forward to seeing some more ideas and suggestions on allowance do's or don'ts and as well as how to best get your children of all ages to want to, or at least deal with, lol, completing chores(cleaning their room)
  • susie 27 Aug, 09:56 AM

    I followed an allowance, and did the chores, my sisters did not,, there was a huge difference, and still is today in how we manage money,, the other two never got into it,,
  • James 20 Sep, 02:42 PM

    Check out my blog title The Chore List to see how we are now attempting to handle chores and allowances.
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