James Wilcox

A master of whatever is required by the day! A high school social studies teacher, published author, father of 3, stay home Mr. Mom during the summer and being an attentive husband are just a few things that keep James on his toes. In his spare time James is a writer and photographer. Before returning to school for his Master's Degree in Education James was a photo journalist for the Independence Examiner. James is active in FIRE (Foundation for Inclusive Religious Education) and is actively involved at the CCVI (Children's Center for the Visually Impaired). He is also busy learning braille with his son Nathan who lives with the effects of ROP, Nathan was a micro-preemie who was born at 24 weeks gestation. James and his family live in Kansas City. To Read about James' book, "Sex, Lies and the Classroom," or order your own copy, visit JamesPWilcox.com

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What To Do for Valentine’s Day: Celebrate an Anniversary

by: James Wilcox

published on: 2/13/2010 12:00:00 AM

    When I asked my wife to marry me, the last thing I was worried about was the date of the wedding. Once she said yes and jumped headlong into the planning process, it quickly became apparent that the date of the wedding was going to be my biggest problem. My wife originally wanted to have a Christmas wedding, but her parents quickly quashed the December wedding plans. Everyone settled on a June wedding date, until I accepted a job in south Texas. The date changed again and every one settled on February 11th.
    Now, I know what you are thinking. You are wondering why February. It is cold in February, it can snow in February, it is hard to get flowers in February. You are absolutely right, all of those things were a concern, but they certainly weren’t my biggest concern. What I was most worried about was the fact that we were getting married three days before Valentine’s Day.
    As everyone knows, wedding anniversaries and Valentine’s Day are both “holidays” that require cards, flowers, chocolates, and gifts. The fact that our wedding anniversary would forever be three days before Valentine’s Day caused me considerable worry. I didn’t think it was fair, I was worried about being able to live up to the expectation of both “holidays”, but what could I do. I couldn’t change the wedding date a third time, could I? No, I couldn’t, but I did talk with my wife about my concern and I gave her a choice: we could either celebrate our anniversary or Valentine’s Day, but not both.
    Fortunately, she agreed.
    Fifteen years later, the system is still working. We celebrate our anniversary and basically ignore Valentine’ Day. Of course, I still have to get her a Valentine’s card, which isn’t so hard because the kids have to get one for their mom anyway. , but that is it; no Valentine’s flowers or chocolate, or even a gift. All I have to worry about is getting our anniversary right (no pressure). So, all of you husbands and fathers out there looking for a good Valentine’s Day tip, the only one I can offer is celebrate your anniversary instead, it is the more important day anyway.
    Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone and Mary, happy 15th Anniversary; you are my light, my heart, and my love. Thanks for everything.

tagged with: Marriage Valentine's Day